Tell me.

“There are those things I’ve been told about, you know, him telling you that if something goes terribly wrong he will fight for you, he will fight to make it right again and not just let it be over and move on not even saying a word. That safe and tingly feeling in your throat when he tells you how much you do matter to him. When your eyes tear up when he admits that he smiles and trembles when he thinks of you not just when he sees you. Because you may feel these thing all the time, you may know them with your heart but your world flips and jumps and turns a million ways when you hear him say them. I wish I’d hear them a million times. I wish my heart and body never catch their breath from hearing, feeling, realizing, knowing and wanting them more. Tell me these things, let me have the orgasms they bring.”  

— Richard Silken

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.”

I want him!

I want to fuck him, I want to kiss him, I want to hug him.. I really miss him, I miss his presence, I miss his eyes, I miss his smile, I miss his laughter, I miss his sweet smell, I miss his sleeping body glued to mine all night.. I miss all these cheezy stuff I am a little ashamed telling him but still do.. I want him!!!

...

your touch magnetizing. feels like im floating. leaves my body glowing.
when you start stroking the inside of my leg, i put my legs over yours and spread my thighs. you play around for a bit and start kissing, getting me worked up. now you move me, get on top of me and tell me its long overdue. slowly moving down my neck, biting hard then kissing softly to make it better. grabbing both my hands and sliding them under the pillow, taking control so im lay there helpless. making your way down my body, softly kissing around my hips and stomach then giving one single kiss through my underwear before coming back up taking your time and tease some more. stroking my thighs, occasionally brushing across me and feeling where you're eventually going to enter me, really make me moan. before that though you push up my bra: kiss, suck and tug sending tingles up and down my spine. then you move your hand round and i arch my back, unhook my bra so im fully exposed and you can touch them freely. now youre done teasing and you go down, warmly breathing on me, tracing the lines of my underwear with your tongue before pulling them off. already thinking i wanted it again before youd even started. at last you can start licking, sucking, swirling, just a little taste, sliding your tongue inside me and i can drape my legs over your shoulders, wriggle around and moan. all the time reaching to squeeze and stroke my chest. but now finally you bring your hands back down, gliding over my body and stop between my legs. what its been building up to, what ive been waiting for.. you begin pressing into me, softly at first teasing with your fingertips. now im getting hotter you start to go deeper. thrusting once, ah, then again, oh, and again. unable to control the noise, telling me to be quiet, biting the pillows. now going faster and faster, ready to lie there silently for a while. i roll over and you softly kiss my neck and stroke my back still sending shivers down my spine.

You've done something special with me.

The room is intoxicated with that smell. I love that smell. I breath in. I close my eyes. I feel blood pumping fast through my sweating trembling body. Trills are still running through my thighs. I lay still. I try to take it all in, to seal it up in my mind, to be able to go back to this moment whenever my world comes down on me. There are only images, short fragments of what happened, only bits and pieces my brain was able to handle while my body was trying to explode with yours. My eyes are still closed. I see you kissing me softly. I see you gazing into my willing eyes. I see you smiling. You go down. I feel your warm body tenderly pressing against mine. I feel your arms rubbing my thighs. I feel your lips pressing on my shivering skin. I feel your tongue going inside me gently worming me up. I start to shake. Chills embrace my legs, arm. My minds stops. You hold me tight. I start to squirm. I can't feel my body. I hold your head in my legs. I want to grab your hands. I can't find them. I grab a hold of something else. I start to feel my stomach getting heavy. I want to scream. I have no voice. Everything inside of me disappears. I get lost for a moment and than I am back there exploding in your mouth. I look down. I catch your eyes. I try to hold them in mine. It's hard. My mind is suffering, it wants to escape, it wants to catch the chills, to grow them, to wrap my whole body in them and than lift me up tangled in satisfying heat, sweat and relaxing beauty. I don't want to reach that moment just yet. I want to look at you. To remember you. To feel you. Your eyes read mine and you pull away. You look at me, how I'm dripping. You want to lick me. You want to suck me more. But than you do something I don't expect. You push your fingers in. They reach the spot right away. I have no time to catch my breath. You trough me right into it again. I can feel you pressing harder and harder. My body relaxes but my muscles seem to be tightening. This time I find your arm and I grab hold of it hard. I feel like I will fall if I let go. The chills get stronger. They are going to rip my body apart. I want to get out of my skin. You can feel it to so you start pressing harder and harder. Something is trying to explode in me. You feel it to. You tell me it's working. I tell you to go harder. The pictures start to rip apart. Moments start to disappear. My head is getting heavier and heavier. It also wants to burst into pieces as my whole body. I feel it. I scream. I don't know if the sound actually came out as I heard it inside. And in that moment everything turns black. I disappear. My body bursts into a million little pieces. I am all over you. I am everywhere. I can't feel a thing and I feel everything crashing down on me. I am some place else. The chills ripped through my body. My mind is satisfied. I smile. You kiss me and smile too. You are satisfied. You've done something special with me. I smile and close my eyes again. As I open them after putting all of this together I see you staring at me, brushing my cheeks with your soft fingertips. I am here again and now it's your turn!

I miss our perfect lazy moments in the nothingness of our not so wasted time.

Loneliness invades not because I have no warm hands to hold my face, no smiling eyes to gaze into mine, no arms to hold my shivering body at night until I sail away into my dreams, no legs to tangle up with mine in a perfect tracery but also because I have no one to tell how my day was, what I dreamed about the night before, what I thought about the movie I last watched. All those little things I tell you when your eyes run across my body, when your fingers strike my hair, when we lay in bed doing nothing, wasting time. Thou I don't believe our time is wasted when we do nothing all day, maybe you do, maybe you have no patience to leave, or maybe not. I have the best time of my life in those moments of nothing. It's in them that I can tell you all these things that now I only imagine how I would, or just watch you silently and sigh in satisfaction. Now I have a lot of spare time to think and it worries my mind what is going through yours, what are your thoughts in those perfect moments of mine, are they the same for you, you never tell me, I only try to guess, I only hope. But that is not what my mind is troubling me with. It's what I realize is the precious part of the moments of nothingness, why I wait around for you, why I miss you that much more. Because I need to share with you, to tell you the stupid and meaningless things running through my mind each second, no matter how stupid they are, no matter where you are. Do I do that when you are with me, I can't recall, I don't seem to have the need when we are together. I wish you'd had the same need, maybe you do, maybe you don't, I have no way of knowing, you never seem to want to tell me. That is not important, I usually want and wish for way to much and I do it only when you are away because I have too much time to ponder and I don't want to do that because I have something perfect with you regardless of what you have with me, something I never dreamed of having, I'm probably the only one in it, I guess it's way different for you but that doesn't matter any more, I am over it. From now on I will only try to keep what I have and enjoy it for me, stop questioning what it means to you. I will question only am I enough, am I doing everything for you, do you have everything I can give you and can I give more. This is what's important. I won't be greedy any more. I have hope someday I will have it all and I will hope I will have it all with you. And I will miss you every time, like I do now and not just your warm hands that hold my face, your smiling eyes that gaze into mine, your arms that hold my shivering body at night until I sail away into my dreams, your legs that tangle up with mine in a perfect tracery, but I will also miss our perfect lazy moments in the nothingness of our not so wasted time. I miss you.

Daily Haiku on Love

“My ear on your chest 
and I am comforted 
by the sound of your heart.  
If a breath remains hidden 
inside my body, 
it is yours to steal. 
Your lips find my lips 
my hand rests behind your neck 
and now our eyes close. 
Waking up to you, 
to your hands brushing my skin 
reminds me to breathe. 
I need it to be me 
that you are dreaming of. 
Please let it be me. 
I wake up wanting and 
I go to sleep wanting; 
All day I want you.
Take my hand in yours
and we’ll waltz around this room.
Will you dance with me?
I just want your legs
wrapping themselves around mine
when my eyes open.
I just want your face
to be touching mine every
morning when I wake.
I’ll always know how
to soothe the scars of sorrow
with my tenderness.
We are drenched in sweat
and our hearts beat frantically
like drums in the dark.
I miss the feeling
of your fingers in my hair,
your breath on my neck.
Sweetest dreams my love.
I’ll meet you there and carry
You back home to Me.”

—	Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Love to watch you sleep.

I can feel your heart beating like a hammer as you are laying still, sound asleep, on my chest. For the first time it's the other way around. It is I who usually gently place my head on your chest and am asleep within minutes. But now you are tired, you need to rest. I won't move a muscle, I will watch you sleep, I will caress your hair, I will breath evenly, I will worm you up with my body, I will do it all to make sure your dreams aren't harmed. You tangle up your legs with mine, I move gently with your move making sure you won't wake from your calm sleep, you need it more than I do. I love to watch you sleep, to hear you breath, to feel your heart beat softly, I love to see you so calm and peaceful just like a little child, it makes me happy, it makes me smile, it soothes me. My biggest wish is to be able to help you always, to be there for you whenever you need me, to make your every wish come true. I try to be that person for you, but sometimes I feel like I fail you, I don’t do enough, I’m not enough and it hurts me, it also hurts me to see you hurt. You are so very special to me, I just wish you’d knew how much. But I don’t believe I can explain it in words, I just hope you can feel it. That doesn't matter in this perfect moment, nothing does, only the fact that you are calm, you look happy, right there in my warm embrace, as I usually look happy and in love in your warm embrace. I could only wish, wish to be the same for you, hope to be the one that makes you truly happy. If not I will just try to be the one who's warm embrace will make your naked body tenderly and calmly shiver in satisfaction - the most lovely, peaceful and heart-warming sight to look at. For me this is enough.

слънце мое, липсваш ми.

This is the time I miss him the most, when his warm naked body is wrapped around my warm naked body and we are peacefully sleeping in his room, intoxicated with the smell of sex from the night before..